Tuesday, November 30, 2010

everything else but

i just learned that i rather:
clean up my entire room,
do chores,
play with my little sister,
do some banking,
decorate my room,
blog,
internet surf,
hang up some clothes,
watch re-runs of the big bang theory,
then do my stupid homework.
this is ridiculous.

Monday, November 29, 2010

dear diary 5

i'll make this quick. while walking home, i just turned on to my street when, of COURSE, my creepy neighbour would ALL OF THE SUDDEN arrive home from where ever he goes. in my head, i was just like ' aw darn'. common courtesy forced me to give him that awkward, unsure smile of a neighbour-who-tries-to-avoid-him-at-all-costs. sigh, of all timing.... ps, i haven't checked the mail for four days and when i did today, it felt like it was christmas. unfortunately, 3/4 of it were ads. damn advertisments, raising my hopes up....
signed,
springroll

Saturday, November 27, 2010

dear diary 4

i'm getting cold feet again. the word 'again' implies that i have got it before. i can't even count the number of times 'cold feet' had stopped me from doing what i wanted. i never used to really put a lot of thought into what people thought of me. i like to believe that i'm better than that but now i'm re-thinking it. i guess i'm a lot more shallow than i thought. my fears are getting the best of me... again. my head is beginning to spin with 'what ifs' and negitive thoughts. my mind is answering my fears with excuses, excuses so i won't have to take the next step. i can't let this happen, not to me again.
signed,
springroll

Thursday, November 25, 2010

sprinkles

The beautiful cupcakes made by all the hard work and effort from our club and with the help of springroll and cracker ! what great friends. The frustration of working with people that don't listen to you and completely ignore what you say is a complete frustration, having that happen many times makes me feel like i want to give up and leave but with the amazing support my blind mices have given me and seeing many of the members working hard, it made me feel that i should continue and make everything the best i can.
With all the hard work, we've made our cupcakes and all the funds will be for Sick Kids Foundation. Yay to entrepreneurship for another great success!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

"the couple"

There used to be this couple that I see every morning at the bus terminal. They were around my age, perhaps a little younger, and looked like they were in the beginning stages of their relationship. I thought they made a beautiful couple. She looked shy and wore torn clothing, not because she couldn't afford better clothing but because it was her style. She also had a mane of rich orange hair, which is quite an uncommon thing to see. The boy was Asian and stood just a few inches taller than her. He was more free with his emotions, smiling and initiating the conversation between the two. They were both individually attractive and although their looks were physically contrasting, they complemented each other well.

Every morning when I arrived at the terminal, the two would already be sitting on the little metal bench closest to the bus we all take to school. Sometimes, they would be talking in a circle of friends. Other times, it would be just them two, listening to music through shared earphones. I saw them everyday and these circumstances repeated. It was rare to see one without the other. It was only a few times where I saw them separated and when I did, it felt like they were missing something. Then, summer arrived and school was let out. I was no longer required to take the bus to school every morning, therefore I stopped seeing the couple.

Summer rushed by fast. So fast that I had to stop and wonder if summer even occurred at all. September crept up upon me and before I knew it, I was once again sitting on the bus that was slowly making its way to the bus terminal, where I would transfer onto another bus that would take me to school. I expected to see the same people I used to see every morning. I expected to encounter the couple once again and offer them that awkward smile, the one you give people you are familiar with yet never actually spoken to. Yet this time, it was different. I arrived at the bus terminal and only saw a lone figure. The girl. She looked different too. She dyed her orginally radiant orange hair into a pitch black. Her bangs grew out and hid half of her face, shielding one of her green eyes. As she sat on the bench that used to hold two, she never raised her eyes but chose to stare down at the ground. I wondered where the boy was.

The next day was the same. And the next. I had a nagging suspicion of what occured but it was never proven until one day. Some would say that it was just like before, the three of us waiting at the bus terminal for a bus that was dependable and constantly on time. However this time, it was noticeably different. The boy and the girl did not speak to one another. In fact, they were standing apart and avoided each other's gazes. There was a chill in the air that did not come with the arrival of autumn. We boarded the bus and the boy quickly hurried to a seat in the back while the girl chose a spot in the front with her back facing towards him, so she wouldn't have to look at him. The bus ride was silent yet screaming in thick tension. Their destination arrived earlier than mine so I was still in my seat as they both got up to prepare to leave. They still have not looked at each other. They exited the bus, one after the other, pretty much strangers. They showed no signs of knowing the other person. They refused to acknowledge the other. It was as if the other didn't exist. Or that they wished they didn't.

As the bus continued along its way, I couldn't help but think back to the days when they were together and happy. And now it's as if those memories never even happened.

Monday, November 22, 2010

HURRY SANTA





I wish Santa would arrive faster. I want to become Santa for my friends too. Getting together and exchanging gifts is so much fun :) ps, i took this photo and edited it myself. I'm quite proud, no lie.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

exhaustion

Waking up knowing that it snowed was lovely
eating brunch with family and having drama times was funn
but then knowing you have to go to work just kills it
customers come nonstop and short on staff is really irritating
running around trying to get orders and satisfy customers but who will satisfy me?
cleaning the back kitchen is a killer that takes 2 hours to do,
co workers are in bad mood which makes everyones mood kinda down
getting sick as you work, and having to leave work early
coming home realizing you forgot to finish you're hmwk
it is now 12:00 midnight and i need a foot massage
too lazy to pack my bags for tmrw
what a exhausting day .

Saturday, November 20, 2010

mask

why do family members wear masks?
we're all family, why can't family be real to each other
not being truthful, lookin down on each other
whats the point? WE'RE FAMILY !
biological or non biological, regardless
we are still one family. can't we all just be ONE big happy family?

dear diary 3

having a guy as your best friend can be such a cock-block sometimes.
it's annoying having to see stares from people, assuming that we're a couple. i know it's a somewhat "logical" assumption ... except it's not really. i hate to actually apply the crap i learn in philosophy class but that is not a logical assumption at all. why do people automatically think that they're dating when a guy and a girl hang out alone together? haven't you ever seen two people of the opposite gender, being friends before or is that a totally absurd concept? it's even more annoying when my mom makes fun of me and start referring to him as her "future son-in-law". No mom, i do not find that humorous.
signed,
springroll

Friday, November 19, 2010

dear diary 2

i think i have the best sister in the world... and she is currently on the other side of the world. a huge box arrived at my house yesterday but i unfortunately missed it. however, i picked it up today and couldn't wait to open it. during my skype date with my sister, which i have every friday, i finally opened it and i honestly saw it glow. the contents were beautiful. my wonderful sister, my thoughtful sister, my amazingly-detailed and thorough sister, designated gifts for everyone in the family. with little post-its labelling everything. I got clothes (YESSSSSSS), bags, boots, socks, an adorable headband, a cute little doll and a poster (which i know if i put this poster up on some sort of asian version of eBay, i would make a lot of money). It felt like Christmas arrived early.
today was a good day.
The best thing about my sister working overseas?
the fact that she has style and love buying gifts.
score.
signed,
springroll

reminiscing

when i don't expect it, he comes into my world
once i notice it, he leaves me hanging
when im through with it, he comes in again,
once i notice, he leaves me hanging
once again.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

dear diary 1

my life is in a good spot right now. although school makes me a little stressed and i COULD be earning a bit more money, i can say i am relatively happy. But once everything is somewhat in balance, it makes it easier to realize that something is missing. i've always had the mindset of 'sitting back and letting things come to me'. this may simply be an excuse, not to put my best effort into something in the case that i fail. but besides that, i'm somewhat tired of waiting for things to come to me. yet i don't have the courage or determination to go out and get what i want. there IS something that i want right now. but i can't seem to take that extra step forward. it feels like whenever i begin to get close to taking a risk, something stops me. perhaps it's that metaphorical ball & chain looped around my feet. if that's the case, i need to start searching for the key.

signed,
springroll

tomato lettuce and cucumber reunites

tomato, lettuce and cucumber
on a rainy day, we all reunited.
tomato said good to be back
lettuce said gett outta my house
cucumber said but this is where i live
LOLOLOLOL ♥

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

anticipation

when you look forward to seeing someone, does this signify a new interest?

17

Black knit beanie
I feel like its time to buy one, because after today, I know winter is here !!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

field trip; good or bad?

As much as I am excited for my field trip tomorrow, there will be a few things i'll miss back at school.

emotional deficiency


I've never been good with my emotions. I can barely tell my friends
"I love you".
Actually, I rarely say those three words to my family members. But I appreciate how my friends understand that. I love them for understanding me. And although all the 'cheesiness' makes me kind of nauseous, it's sweet. Shoutout to the three blind mice, TLC and JTL!

the two

then 2008 now 2010

We've been through the thick and thin. We've learn whose there for us when we needed them the most, we've learned whose real and whose fake.
What will I have done without you Lisa Doan there for me all these years? My life wouldn't be the same. Nothing can come between our friendship
3 years and still counting - ily